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Women on a shopping spree

Emotional Spending Confession

I have a confession...

…. I did a lot of emotional spending these past six months. 

Alexis Rose gasps in disbelief

I know that sounds wild coming from a financial coach, but we’re not immune to human behavior either!


During the last six months, I experienced family job loss, packing and moving to another state, work growing pains, my family and I got COVID, and on top of that, my kids have been sicker these past few months than the past four years. 

It's been STRESSFUL!

As a result, I found myself drawn to spending money as a way to assert control over even one aspect of my life. That’s what we call Emotional Spending. 

I feel like this is a lot of what my clients go through too. I’ve heard, “well, everything is shit, so why shouldn’t I buy (insert experience here)?”  We’re all tired, stressed, and feeling spendy as a result.  


Recently, though, I’ve had a mental shift, resulting in my first month of budget success. I exceeded my monthly savings goal, stuck to my allowance, and still have extra to buy the birthday Las Vegas outfit I have my eye on. 


So, what changed?

I’m embracing change. I’m embracing the unknown. 

I remember sitting in church and realizing that if I want to change and feel back in control, I must focus on myself. Not all the shit that is happening in the world or my family. I focused on asking myself; what one shift in mindset or thing can I do today to start moving the needle back to my happy place? 

For so many of us, myself included, emotional spending isn’t an illness–it’s a symptom. We can only make financial progress by digging deeper and addressing those uncomfortable feelings or our reality. 

Now that I have refocused (which took time), I have been feeling more excited about my work than ever before. My work is thriving. Money feels easy and joyful again. I’m celebrating my small and big financial wins.  

I want that for you too.

So, I’ll leave you with some questions to marinate on: 

  • How are you feeling about your spending recently? 
  • Where is it serving you, and where is it covering up something bigger underneath? 
  • Does your current spending align with your spending values? 

Cheers to always growing in your financial journey,

Coach MicKallyn

Meet MicKallyn

mickallyn ellis in her office


Hi, I’m Mickallyn, a Mortgage Lender/Banker turned Financial Coach.  When student loans put me in debt, I knew I didn’t want to live the rest of my life paying them off, so I figured out how to pay them all off in just a year. Now I have zero debt, 3 homes, 4 college degrees and am raising two little boys. I’ve traveled to over 22 countries and live a debt free life. I’m committed to helping others do the same through 1 on 1 coaching and personalized plans that actually work.

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